A little peace of heaven

Who would have thought that one of my biggest joys is being a mother? I now have a 6-month-old baby girl and she is one of my biggest joys. Lately my husband and I have been bouncing between jobs and homes and it's been pretty tough on us. Needless to say I sometimes just want to break down and cry and shout out "why?! Why is this happening to us?" I guess at some point everyone reaches a phase like this in their lives. But here's where the phenomenon occurs: with such a hard trial comes some of my biggest pleasures. For example, when I wake up in the morning and I see this little face gazing up at me just smiling, her face so full of trust. It's as if she's saying "Today is going to be a great day, mama." Then she laughs and giggles as I rush about to get ready for today and get her in the bath. She is just so trusting even though she is completely helpless. That's how I feel about my situation; completely helpless. So I kneel before my maker and say "ok God, my life is in your hands because I feel like I've been doing all that I can do and I don't think I can  do anymore. I trust you to help me take care of my small family." The funny thing is, is that He does. He loves me and my family so much that He is taking care of us every step of the way. I know He is. I just have to trust Him by doing my part.

A snippet about Love

Love is a funny thing. It makes people do funny things or so I've been told. People fall in and out of love like water falls in and out of an overflowing bowl of water.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about past loves, I guess you could say, that I've had. And how I came out of it with only so much as a bruised heart. But they came out with a broken heart. How does one heal from such terrible cuts? How can we possibly survive so much pain? By loving again. Give your heart once again to someone who you love and they will love you in return. But first give yourself time. Time to heal, Time to mourn your loss and what could have been, Time to dream again, and most importantly Time to learn to love again. Then after enough time for you has passed, let it go. Let all your pain and suffering go and never forget, but never dwell on it again. Hope is always there for those who care to look. And then and only then, will you be able to love again.
I guess this could be said for all hurt, pain, and suffering we go through. It's ok to mourn our losses but it's not ok to hold onto that mourning forever. We learn and grow from pain. We adapt from failure and we fall down so that we can get up again. This is how we were made. It is natural and it is ok. Love is what makes forgiveness and renewal possible. Love is what makes things happen.
So yes, I guess love is a funny thing. It's something that makes people stop and think "Is this something I really want?"



This small snippet was inspired by past lovers of mine and I wrote as if I could tell them one last thing.

Sometimes I think the smallest things are the ones that make the biggest impact. I once read a nursery rhyme about a horse that lost his shoe and since he lost his shoe it led to the down fall of an entire kingdom. But then I think what about making mole hills into mountains? Is it really just trying to decide what is really important in life or is it all important? I once read that by "small and simple things great things are brought to pass" (Alma 37:6-7). When you think about it, it's really true. I mean I think about what life is composed of: from the tiniest atom to the largest mammal or animal on earth. Think about the very air that we breath: it's just composed of thousands of small atoms that make molecules and yet these small little things are what sustain life! So wouldn't it make sense that even the smallest thought of ours can have a huge impact on society? Just a thought. . .

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I've decided I need to keep a "doodle journal". I need something to write my thoughts of ideas, inspirations, and/or just random thoughts. So I guess this is my first thought and it comes from a Mormon Message called "Enemy territory". It was said that as we follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost we will be led to which path is right, what choices are wrong and that we will be watched over and protected. What marvelous blessings are these. 

Second thought: I want to be writing and serving everyday so I think/been prompted to keep a blog. Now mind you this is a rather scary thought for me. Mainly because I'm a very private person; I like my privacy and it's rather hard for me to share some of these thoughts or even share my writing with others. . . Oh well La de da. Here goes nothing